


Aegri Somnia

by Kotomine



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, It's not too shippy but it's there. not blatantly but it's there., Literary References & Allusions, M/M, so those dreams Gilgamesh has in the Epic?, the ones on his and Enkidu's way to beat Humbaba?, yeah those sucked.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2293223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kotomine/pseuds/Kotomine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the blessing of a new body of flesh, his thoughts and dreams are cursed with visions from the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aegri Somnia

When he wakes from the Grail's depths, the first thing Gilgamesh takes note of is not the new tangibility in his flesh, nor his lack of armor. Instead, it is the smell of the ash in the air of the wreckage which surrounds him. For a moment, he recalls a memory from eons ago, but it leaves as quickly as it comes. He thinks nothing of it, as soon as he sees a familiar arm hanging out from the rubble. Finding Kirei alive despite all of this is to be expected-- after all, he still has to entertain the King of Heroes after such a disappointing end to this battle.

 

The smell of the ash returns as Gilgamesh drifts off to sleep back at the house next to the church, and he blames it on the fragment of his mantle that Kirei had salvaged. He opens his eyes, but he doesn't see the cold dark of the room he was in. Instead, he stands in the middle of a field, flames surrounding him but unable to touch his body blessed by Shamash. He looks down, and the king finds himself adorned in royal treasures and dressed in attire he has not seen in thousands of years. Thunder echoes in his ears, the earth shakes beneath the leather of his sandals. The ash smells all the stronger now, so much so that he can taste it on his tongue.

 

Why now? Gilgamesh has seen this before, once, in a dream. It was just as seemingly real as this one, but he knows that once he wakes the axe that was at his side before will not be here now. He runs, the fire pulling away as he approaches. Gilgamesh wants to leave; there is nothing in this dream that can be any good, as much as his friend tried to tell him the last time. The sweat on his skin is cold, even with the heat of the flames. Nearing the gates, he thinks he sees someone-- and not just anyone. But as he tries to reach out to them, the dream ends. He's awake in the old rectory again, clutching a thin blanket to his chest, arm still reaching out, but to nothing, and no one. The only other person is sleeping soundly at his side. Gilgamesh pulls his hand back, and tries to sleep again.

 

Even though in his dreams he stood alone, someone else had bore witness to the king's panicked running, and this witness took particular note of the name which the king had said again and again. In the world of flesh, Kirei says nothing for now, only intrigued by what he was able to see. It is a conversation for another time.

 

In his old life, Gilgamesh had never cared for dreams, had they been those of a seer or his very own. Even before the ones mentioned in his Epic-- which itself was thoughtlessly woven together and thought of as one narrative by the fools of this era--, the king much preferred a night's sleep without memory of his dreams. But here, now, in this reincarnate body, they were incessant and tiresome. He recalls them all from his past, since only the ones from his journey to defeat the monster Humbaba appeared. His companion had constantly insisted that what they were portend to were nothing but auspicious visions, but they would both later learn that to be the exact opposite of the truth. The falling mountain, the shaking earth. But the one that comes again and again is the wretched vision of the bull-- that he who built the walls of Uruk with his own bare hands would be brought powerless before a beast of burden, such a lowly creature was a greater shame in his dreams than anything in his present reality.

 

One night, he fights back harder than usual, disgusted by the bull's musk being so thick in the air Gilgamesh can't tell if the blood running from his hand as he wrestles the beast is his own or not, but it pins him to the ground, and the unknown blood drips onto his cheek. The king's brow creases deeper, and goes so far as to let the hoof he had in his grip fall beside his head. He goes for its throat now, since even the strongest of creation can do nothing without air. The smell of the bull seems to weaken and dissipate, but then, for the first time in any of his dreams, he hears a voice.

 

“Even if it is you, Gilgamesh, a simple closing of the throat wouldn't be enough to kill your Master, would it?”

Had their interpretation been right after all? Was this bull really Shamash in another form? Gilgamesh recoils, in the process hitting the crown of his head against something hard. When he opens his eyes, the bull is gone, but his hand is still gripping the ridge of a trachea. Even when he realizes who it belongs to, Gilgamesh doesn't let go.

 

“What right do you think you have, hanging yourself over me as if I were below you?” Even in the dark of night, his eyes were as bright as the blood of his dream.

 

“It seemed the only way I could participate in your nightly despair instead of just watching,” the priest answered. The king could feel the malice in the gravel of his voice in his palm.

 

“Do not intrude upon matters which do not concern you, mongrel.”

 

“A Servant who trembles and grows frantic every time he has a nightmare barely has the right to order his Master around, King of Heroes or otherwise.” He takes a hold of the hand on his throat, but doesn't pull it away. “Especially when you call to a companion who won't come back for you.”

 

It's only when Gilgamesh tries to choke him harder that Kirei applies force to his hold, and while he doesn't vocalize his pain, the Servant does look annoyed. “Do not dare speak his name, ill or not.”

 

“I would not go that far to offend you,” he replies, finally getting the hand away from his throat. He brings it to his lips, as reverently as he can be at this point. The king can only take him so seriously, with how much he has let his appearance go. The signs of human aging are finely making their way on Kirei's face, and as if to compensate for the thinning of his hair, he has been letting it grow in the back. It's unsightly, compared to his ageless and perfect form, but he can do nothing to change it.

 

“But you are willing to be arrogant enough to offend me at all,” Gilgamesh observes.

 

“If my arrogance entertains you, King of Heroes. I did promise you that.” Kirei's hand pushes the golden hair at his forehead back, and for a moment it feels warm. “But your unwanted dreams preoccupy you far too much. Let your mind be clear, and enjoy my foolishness without distraction.”

 

“And that was?”

 

“A simple countermeasure against your visions. Perhaps it was the Grail's final act against you, as you gained flesh, for rejecting it.”

 

For the first time in what seems like ages, Gilgamesh smiles in the darkness of the night. “Even if your lips do not betray your smile, your voice more than reveals your amusement. You've had enough of your grotesque delight in my suffering, Kirei. It is now time for you to entertain me, as you said. Disappoint me and you will wish my anger to be but a dream.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Beginning of a new school year for me, and both in class and out of it I've noticed a theme of "Dreams really suck and can be the cause of unnecessary anxiety" so I was inspired, though not in the most cheerfully of ways. Hope it's enough to enjoy!


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